Mothering 10what?

Mothering.....where is the handbook that guides us through this crazy role? Have you ever felt like you don't quite measure up as a mother? Boy, I have. I have friends who all of their children seem perfect and make perfect choices and I wonder sometimes what I am doing wrong? This last weekend I had the opportunity to visit with two moms who I would have looked at as perfect moms with perfect kids. Come to find out, they are normal and have their own set of trials with their children. I learned a lot from these two ladies about parenting. I have 11 children ages 25, 22, 21, 19, 17, 15, 13, 10, 8, 6, and 2 1/2. So I guess you could say I have all stages of parenting going on right now. : ) We all know how it is to have toddlers...hold on to the reins because it will be a bumpy ride. It is fun and wild and tiring. Our 2 year old is the busiest child we have had, he is very smart, almost too smart. He knows how to use the dvd player, he somehow got on facebook the other day, and he called my mom on my cell phone. It is fairly easy to parent him because there are pretty clear guidelines. The 6 year old is so sweet and he has a smile that would melt anyones heart. He says the funniest things, and you wonder where he comes up with it. Here is an example: "He was talking on the phone to Taylor (our 19 year old daughter, who is in Utah right now) Taysen - Taylor, when you come home you better not be sassy! Taylor - Why would I be sassy? Taysen - Because Tess was sassy when she came home from Utah! Taylor - How was she sassy? Taysen - Because she brung apples!" Okay what a goofball.

Tate our eight year old is our serious one, he does not like to be the center of attention. He is sweet and patient. Last year at Christmas we did a name draw for each other, he got his older brother Tuckers name. Taylor helped him to wrap the gift and told him to write on it; To Tucker, Love Tate. He made a funny face and said ewww, he is a boy. So this is what his gift to Tucker said; To Tucker, Like Tate. 

Trey, our 10 year old has the most amazing crystal blue eyes, he is funny and loves to laugh. He loves tohelp others whenever he can, almost to a fault. This last year his teacher told me he was spending too much time helping others with their work, so he wasn't finishing his. "oh boy"

With these four boys, parenting is not too hard, they just need clear boundaries and lots of love.

Now on to parenting teenagers; Wow what a change I have to still give boundaries, but also give freedom at the same time. Be understanding of their hormonal feelings and love unconditionally. (not always easy)

They are great kids;

Tavin is thirteen and he loves school and his friends. I am having a hard time getting him to understand he doesn't have to be the boss! He wants to parent the little boys even when I am home.

Toni is 15 and just got her learner's permit and wants to drive everywhere, she is funny and loves art. She just got back from girls camp and had a very spiritual experience. I watch her and hope she knows how amazing she is.

Tanner is 17 and getting ready to start his senior year. He is very driven, he is in cross country and his goal is to break the school record and make it to state. He also has the goal of being valedictorian. He will probably achieve it.

Now to parenting adults; Wow this is a challenge to figure out!!! 

Taylor is 19 and currently in Utah working for family, trying to save money for a good car. She is coming home in November to go to Cosmetology School. She is the peacemaker in our home. She is very sweet and sensitive. She has a beautiful voice and plays the guitar. I miss her sooo much and I miss her music in our home.

Tucker is 21 and lives with us. He has struggled to figure out what he wants to do. Tucker is our family entertainer, he is always making us laugh, even when he is in trouble. I have been struggling to figure out what boundaries he should still have while living with us.

Tess is 22, she is getting ready to serve a mission for our church in Reno, Nevada (spanish speaking) I know she will be a wonderful missionary, she is my example every day of being Christlike. She loves everyone!

Trevor is 25, married and he and his wife are expecting their first child. He has grown into an amazing man who loves the gospel and his wife. We have struggled, mostly because we are both headstrong, but, slowly I am finding my way to letting go of my stubbornness and am able to enjoy watching him grow and make his own choices.

I have mad my share of mistakes as a mom and I am sure I am not done making them. I am realizing that my children have free agency and I have to allow that and love them through mistakes as well as triumphs. I have spent a lot of time on my knees on their behalf and my mom says that is one thing that won't end. 

My goal is for my children to know I am not perfect and I do make mistakes. Raising them is a new lesson to me every day. I want them to know that I love and support them and desire for their happiness. I want to strive to be a better mother every day.

I have had people say to me; "Wow...11 kids.....you must be a pro at parenting." My answer is to them, I would be if they all came with the same personalities, but they don't so I am learning every day just like every one else out there. I am grateful for kids who are good for others and repectful, kind, and normal (not always  perfect angels) I wouldn't want them any other way. 

So my take on mothering 10What? is Love your kids and let them know it every day. Even when it is hard. They are worth it!!